Does Counselling Actually Help With MS? An Honest Answer
If you’ve typed this into a search bar, I’m guessing you’re somewhere between I probably should talk to someone and I’m not sure it would change anything. Both are fair. MS is already taking up enough of your time and energy, and you don’t want to spend more of it on something that doesn’t help.
So here’s the honest answer, from someone who has lived with MS since I was 19 and who counsels people with MS: counselling can help, with some things, for some people. It can’t do other things at all. This post is about which is which, so you can decide with your eyes open.
Does Counselling Help With MS?
Counselling can help with the emotional weight that comes with MS: the fear, the grief, the loneliness, the sense of not recognising your own life. It doesn’t treat MS itself.
The neurologist treats the disease. I treat the grief and the fear that come with it. Those are two different jobs, and you need to know which one you’re hiring for.
What counselling can offer is a place to say the things you haven’t said out loud, with someone who won’t rush to fix them or ask you to be positive. For many people, that alone changes how heavy it all feels to carry. It doesn’t change what’s happening in your body.
What Can Counselling Do for Someone Living With MS?
In my experience, counselling helps most with the things that don’t show up on a scan:
Fear of what’s ahead. Progression, disability, what your life looks like in ten years. Counselling doesn’t take the uncertainty away, because nobody can. It can help you live alongside it without it running every quiet moment. Fear of progression is one of the most common things I hear.
Grief for the life you expected. Losing the person you were before MS is a real loss, and it rarely gets treated like one. MS and grief goes further into that.
The loneliness of being the only one who gets it. Many people with MS spend a lot of energy reassuring everyone around them. Counselling is one place where you don’t have to.
Feeling like a burden. The guilt about what you can’t do and what others pick up. This post looks at it.
Saying the thing you can’t say to family. Sometimes the people closest to you are the hardest people to be honest with.
None of this is a guarantee. How much it helps depends on you, on the fit with your counsellor, and on timing.
What Can’t Counselling Do?
Counselling can’t slow your MS, change your scans, ease your symptoms, or make a hard diagnosis easier to have. I don’t offer medical advice, and nothing here replaces your neurologist or MS nurse.
It also can’t promise the fear or grief will go away. I’d be wary of anyone who says it will. What changes, for a lot of people, is how much room the fear takes up. Whether that’s worth it to you is your call.
And it isn’t a quick fix. Some people feel a bit lighter after the first conversation. Others take longer to find their feet. I won’t pretend otherwise.
What If I’ve Tried Counselling Before and It Didn’t Help?
That’s worth taking seriously, and it doesn’t mean counselling can’t work for you. It might mean that counsellor wasn’t the right fit.
One of the most common things I hear is some version of: I spent half the session explaining what MS fatigue is, and then I ran out of time to talk about what was actually going on. If that’s what happened, the problem wasn’t you. When someone doesn’t understand the condition, you end up doing their education instead of your own work.
Fit matters. A counsellor who already knows what a relapse feels like, why "you look so well" can sting, and what it’s like to live with an illness that doesn’t have an end date, starts you much further along. If you want to know the difference between counsellors and psychologists, that post covers it.
What If I Think I Should Be Able to Handle This on My Own?
Plenty of people with MS are very good at coping, and that’s part of the problem. You’ve been handling it for a long time, usually while looking fine.
Needing support isn’t a sign you’re not coping. If anything, it’s often a sign you’ve been coping for too long without any. There’s no prize for doing it alone, and you don’t have to figure this out alone.
Do I Need to Be in Crisis to See a Counsellor?
No. You don’t need to be at breaking point. Many of the people I talk to just have a persistent heaviness, a fear that won’t switch off, or a sense that they’re getting through each day without really being okay.
If that sounds familiar, it’s reason enough. Counselling isn’t a last resort for when things fall apart.
How Do I Know If Counselling Is Worth It for Me?
A few honest questions can help:
Is something weighing on you that you haven’t said out loud to anyone?
Are you spending energy reassuring the people around you instead of being honest?
Do you want somewhere to sort through the fear or grief without being told to look on the bright side?
Would it help to talk to someone who doesn’t need MS explained?
If you said yes to one or more, a conversation is probably worth having. If not right now, that’s fine too. It’ll still be there.
What Does a First Step Look Like?
The $79 Initial Consultation is 40 minutes online, one-to-one, with no ongoing commitment. It’s a real conversation about what you’re carrying, and a chance to see whether this feels like the right fit. It’s not a pitch.
You’ll get a feel for how I work, and I’ll tell you honestly if I think something else would suit you better. If you’re wondering about cost and rebates, this post covers what’s available in Australia, and the counselling page has the details.
This post is general information, not medical advice. Please talk to your neurologist or MS nurse about any questions about your own health. Em West Multiple Sclerosis Counselling is not a crisis service. If you’re in crisis or thinking about ending your life, please reach out now: Lifeline 13 11 14 (Australia), or your local emergency number (000 in Australia).
